writer, photographer, web person from Washington, DC.
I’ve cut the price on my novel Murder in Ocean Hall to just 99 cents on Kindle!
This murder-mystery is set in DC, but in the real city beyond the monuments. It makes a perfect gift for anyone who wants to learn more about how Washington works – or doesn’t. Murder in Ocean Hall has received a slew of five-star reviews on Amazon. It is a quick, entertaining who-dunnit filled with memorable characters and a dash of humor.
Download Murder in Ocean Hall today!
Lauree Ostrofsky had a brain tumor. Twenty-nine years old and it seemed like her life was over before it had really begun.
This brush with mortality was a clarifying moment. She didn’t want a brain tumor – she wanted to be healthy. Sometimes we only discover our true wants in opposition to something else. For Lauree, she wanted to be healthy once again.
And she wanted so much more – she wanted to live a life where she was scared and doing it anyway. Lauree would meet her fears and go past them.
Three surgeries later, the tumor was gone. But the changes had just begun. This experience with death taught her the importance of a positive outlook on life and how much potential we have to affect change. Over the past decade, Lauree has been a speaker, author, PR strategist and life coach, as well as leading a hug tour.
She describes the journey in her new book, I’m Scared & Doing It Anyway. As she explained in the book launch at the Science Club, she wrote the book that she wanted to read after her tumor diagnosis. It’s a book for anyone going though a trying situation. Which, sooner or later, is just about everyone.
Joe Konrath had a really important post on how to sell ebooks. This successful indie author made the point (among many other great ones) that it was important to experiment. In his words:
There isn’t a single thing I’m saying here that you should automatically believe. Don’t trust me, or any other so-called expert. Instead, try things out for yourself and draw your own conclusions.
Or to quote screenwriter William Goldman: “Nobody knows anything.”
That’s the case with art and marketing – you can’t predict what’s going to work. At best, you can try and try again.
I love my book Don’t Mess Up My Block. It’s a funny, cynical look at the way we work now. The people who have read it have liked it, especially if they have experience in the bureaucracies of Washington.
Yet, this novel is hidden far down the long tail of Amazon, unlikely to emerge from obscurity.
For my first novel, Murder in Ocean Hall, I had this great cover by Dave Newman. It’s a classic.
But this time, I’m experimenting. I was inspired by Seth Godin and the Domino Project, which has set out to revolutionize publishing. He’s rethinking everything the book world does, including covers. Why do you need a title and a name on a cover for an ebook? For example, here’s his book Poke the Box:
My second novel Don’t Mess Up My Block is a journey through the dysfunctional American workplace, from companies obsessed with the latest management fads to federal agencies unable to get anything done. What would make a good cover?
Fortunately, I had exactly the right picture, taken while I was at work one day. I was amused by the cheap stapler they had given me in my new job and just how beige and early 90s everything in the office was. I snapped this Instagram picture, thinking it perfectly captured the banality of the white-collar workplace.
So, that’s it. That’s the new cover of Don’t Mess Up My Block. It’s a funny and absurd cover for a funny and absurd book.
My novel Don’t Mess Up My Block has its first Amazon review! And it’s a good one:
As someone who spent many years dealing with consultants, federal contractors, and federal employees …. this book rings all too true. The people, places, and situations are much too familiar … for me, it was a non-fiction “day in the life” – or “you won’t believe the day I had”. Well done Joe! The author has captured life on the Beltway merry-go-round.
I know the reviewer and if anyone is an expert on the Beltway merry-go-round, it is he. Glad that my book rang so true with someone so attuned to the absurdities of life in Washington.
So, what are you waiting for? Don’t Mess Up My Block is just 99 cents on Kindle.
Beyond the pomp and ceremony of the Presidential Inauguration, there’s a whole other city, a real city, where people work and live in a world far removed from the ideals and monuments of the Washington you see on TV. It’s a place where ordinary folks struggle to find good schools and survive in a rapidly-changing urban environment.
It’s the world of Murder in Ocean Hall. This mystery novel takes place in city neighborhoods like Dupont Circle and U Street. In this book, the world’s most famous oceanographer is murdered. It’s up to a cynical DC detective to solve the case. Along the way, we learn about the history of city and why it works – or doesn’t work.
A reviewer wrote:
Read this book if you think you’ve been to Washington, DC. The author, Joe Flood, will take you behind the scenes of places you’ve been and tell you how they function then give you insights into people in power and how they fail to function.
Think you know Washington? Uncover what the city is really like in Murder in Ocean Hall.
The more interesting the work, the less it pays – that’s the rule I uncovered in 2012. It’s the reason why technical writers are paid well (you want to write a help guide for Sharepoint?) while film reviewers are paid poorly (you get to see movies!).
However, it was a great learning experience to meet so many creative folks. Truly inspiring to meet people who had written books, made movies and created web sites.
The highlight of the year was the work I did for On Tap, the free monthly entertainment magazine in DC. There’s still a special thrill to see your name in print that no digital facsimile can replace. I wrote about Lawless, Beasts of the Southern Wild, The Dark Knight Rises, V/H/S, Mansome and The Sessions. Continue reading “How to Lead a Fascinating Life but Make No Money: My Year in Writing”
Get my funny satire Don’t Mess Up My Block for free today and tomorrow on Kindle! This novel takes aim at self-help experts, social media gurus, business consultants and other American charlatans.
I wrote the book as a parody of self-help titles like Who Moved My Cheese and The Secret. However, Don’t Mess Up My Block is filled with bad advice. Follow the picaresque adventures of Laurent Christ, a self-appointed business expert, as he goes from disaster to disaster. Can you fake it until you make it? Find out in my funny new novel.
So, what did I read in 2012 that was any good?
I started the year with What It Was by George Pelecanos. It was the first book by this DC writer that I’ve ever read. And it was also the first book I ever read on an iPad, an experience I found to be surprisingly pleasant. What it Was is a muscular, brutal novel with a strong plot that captures Washington after the 1968 riots. In my review of this crime novel, I said that:
Pelecanos has a great eye for the details of the time, from the tricked-out cars to the soul music of the 1970s.
I then devoured the first three books of A Game of Thrones. Starting off a skeptic, I was soon enraptured by the violent, amoral world of Westeros. But by the end of the third massive tome, I had fallen out of love – when is this thing going to end? Arrgh, why does George R. R. Martin keep killing off main characters? For those familiar with the endless tale, it was the traumatic events of the “Red Wedding” that made me stop reading.
The death of Harry Crews in March reminded me of what a good author he was – I reread Body, his crazy disturbing look at female bodybuilding. Crews loved Florida and freaks.
A more genteel book is The Getaway Car by Ann Patchett. This Kindle single is one of the most practical guides to writing I have ever read. And her novel State of Wonder was one of the best books I read all year. It’s a great examination of scientific ethics in the Amazonian rainforest.
Another great story about an author is Hemingway’s Boat. Filled with colorful tales of Papa in Cuba, it’s a damning portrait of a genius in decline.
In the category of “I can’t believe I’m reading this”: The Rock Star’s Daughter. It’s a young-adult page turner that was free on Kindle. This really was the year of the e-book for me.
I had plans to review each chapter of The $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau. He’s an ideal author for people pursuing alternative career paths. But I got stuck on chapter three – follow your passion… maybe. In this chapter, Guillebeau said to look for things that you love to do that you can also get paid for. The stories are inspiring but he understates the difficulty of discovering this sweet spot of passion and money.
This idea of discovering what you’re best at is explored in The Pumpkin Plan, a very nuts-and-bolts book for small businesses. The message: only do what you’re best at. Nothing else.
In the category of philosophical, “what should I do with my life?” books I would also place The Winner Stands Alone and Aleph, a pair of somewhat cruel novels by Paulo Coelho. They fail to capture the magic of The Alchemist, lacking the hopeful spirit of his first book. Which is disappointing, because The Alchemist is required reading for anyone who wants to be an artist.
Another disappointment was Swamplandia – it started out so strongly but then got bogged down in a literal and metaphorical swamp. Parts of the book are brilliant and hilarious. The editor in me wanted to cut a hundred pages out of this book. There so much potential in this story of Florida swamp eccentrics.
Fortunately, I have friends who write books! Angry filmmaker Kelley Baker produced a gem of a book on no-budget filmmaking while Jon Gann contributed a great guide to film festivals. Get both books for filmmakers on your Xmas list.
And of course I published my second novel, Don’t Mess Up My Block. This parody of self-help books made it to the second round of Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award.
That’s my reading list for 2012! Hope you find something that you can enjoy!
I’ve received some very nice reviews of Murder in Ocean Hall. This murder-mystery set in DC seems to have struck a chord with appreciative readers. Here’s a selection of reviews from Amazon:
Joe Flood is a find! One can only hope that this is the beginning of a series. As others have noted, DC is a character in the book, and Flood has his detective consider the changes that the passing years have brought to the city. The inimitable Marion Barry is a character, as of course he should be. The other characters, both central and peripheral are quite rounded–and watching them evolve along with the unfolding of the mystery is a pleasure.
How could you write a book about DC and not include Marion Barry? And I’ve thought about making my book part of a series, but Murder in Ocean Hall literally contains everything I know about Washington.
Back to the reviews:
The time spent reading “Murder in Ocean Hall” is time well spent. I feel disinclined to share what the story is all about. Ostensibly it’s a murder mystery, but that doesn’t explain the half of it. Having hinted that there are numerous fish-to-fry in this story, suffice to say that the important characters are exceedingly well developed…
I tried to make my characters interesting, well-rounded people with their own stories to tell. I come from a background in literary fiction so I wanted to write a genre book that felt like a traditional novel. Which is perhaps why one Amazon reviewer called it “flowery and long-winded,” complaining that:
It was an OK read, but very descriptive in a lot of parts.
Guilty as charged! My version of Washington is the real city, not merely a flimsy backdrop for some far-fetched conspiracy tale.
More typical of the response to the book was this review:
Read this book if you think you’ve been to Washington, DC. The author will take you behind the scenes of places you’ve been and tell you how they function then give you insights into people in power and how they fail to function.
That’s a pretty good summary. Murder in Ocean Hall is about Washington beyond the monuments. In addition to an entertaining murder-mystery, the novel demonstrates how the city fails its residents – and the country at large.
Get my biz book satire Don’t Mess Up My Block for free this CyberMonday! My funny novel follows Laurent Christ, self-annointed business guru, as he travels the country dispensing bad advice to clients large and small. The book skewers social media consultants, big government, corporate-speak and other evils of contemporary America.