Not All Who Wander Are Lost: Election Lessons from Gandalf

If you’re a progressive, these are dark times indeed. You’ve suffered a historic and surprising loss, one that seems to usher in a new age of evil.

Great works of literature, such as The Lord of the Rings, can provide consolation to discouraged liberals in the new Trump universe. Look for hope, not from the east, but in the big books of fantasy. From Gandalf to Aslan, the characters in these imagined worlds endured far worse than a bright orange politician. They took on and defeated enemies who would enslave them. Let their stories be your guide to surviving the Age of Trump.

When it comes to confronting evil, no one is more inspiring than Gandalf the White in The Lord of the Rings. Pulling together an unlikely coalition of misfits, he defeats evil in its purest and most implacable form.

His greatest weapon: hope. As he struggled with the impossible task that was destroying the One Ring, he rallied his companions by saying:

Despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt.

If you’re Gandalf, you fight on, even as you plunge into the pit with a Balrog.

His credo was simple:

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

That means that you do what you can, every day.

Gandalf knew how to deal with a two-faced politician, too. Lock him in a tower. After the treacherous wizard Saruman is defeated by the Ents, Gandalf keeps him trapped in Orthanc. Saruman pleads for release, with words whose very sound was an enchantment:

Those who listened unwearily to that voice could seldom report the words that they had heard; and if they did, they wondered, for little power remained in them. Mostly they remembered only that it was a delight to hear the voice speaking, all that it said seemed wise and reasonable, and desire awoke in them by swift agreement to see wise themselves. When others spoke, they seemed harsh and uncouth by contrast; and if they gainsaid the voice, anger was kindled in the hearts of those under the spell.

Saruman possesses the oratory of Ted Cruz. And, like Cruz, he’s taken every side on every issue. He turned evil because evil was going to win. Better to be on the winning side. Gandalf wisely keeps him in Orthanc.

And if Saruman is Cruz then who is his treacherous companion, Grima Wormtongue? He tries to weaken King Théoden of Rohan and nearly succeeds. Playing the role of Wormtongue in the Republican Party would be Newt Gingrich, who sought to discredit the Republican establishment from within. Unlike the Lord of the Rings, the Grand Old Party never woke up from its spell. Rohirrim did not ride to the rescue at the Republican Convention.

C.S. Lewis would argue that great sacrifice is needed to cleanse the world. In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, where it’s always winter but never Christmas (which feels like Washington today), it takes blood to put things right in this thinly veiled Christian allegory. Perhaps Hillary, like Aslan, should’ve sacrificed her political ambitions and let a more palatable candidate run for office.

George R. R. Martin dismisses these ideas about good and evil. You’re naïve to even think that way and liable to get beheaded if you embrace the hero myth. In the Game of Thrones, you either win or you die. Like Petyr Baelish aka Littlefinger, it’s best to look after your own interest, without morals. His scheming and self-interest represent many in Washington.

I prefer the consolation of Gandalf. As progressives enter the political wilderness, remember the words of Greybeard:

Not all those who wander are lost.

In the years before the War of the Ring, Gandalf adventured throughout Middle-Earth, defeating monsters and learning about the people under his protection, from greedy dwarves to breakfast-loving hobbits. He could not become Gandalf the White without the forge of this experience.

From merry wizards to talking lions, the world of fantasy offers consolation to progressives looking into the land of shadow. At the very least, they’ll provide something to read over the next four years.

Five Novels for the Age of Trump

Nothing makes sense anymore. You wake up one morning and your country has changed. It seems absurd. Laughable. Yes, America really did elect Donald Trump.

How do you survive this new vulgar age? By reading fiction. According to a recent Time magazine article, books will not only make you smarter, they can provide comfort during a traumatic time. The immersive experience that good books provide is cheap therapy for the disaffected.

Here are five books to help you cope with recent events. Five novels that provide a comic perspective to understanding the Age of Trump.

Super Sad True Love Story

No one is better at identifying a failing and corrupt state than a Soviet emigre. In Super Sad Love Story, Gary Shteyngart draws a portrait of a dystopian New York in the near future. No one works anymore, everyone seeks social media fame and the Chinese are threatening to foreclose on the country. It’s a comic ruin of a book, one that will break your heart while it keeps you laughing. And one that will make you determined that this dystopia never comes to America.

The Nix

Our poisonous politics began during the culture wars of the 1960s, according to the The Nix by Nathan Hill. Hippie vs square, young vs old, liberal vs conservative – it’s a battle that was never resolved and continues to today. In the book, a failed writer puts down the gaming console to discover the mystery of the mother who abandoned him for radical politics.

The Sellout

Racism. That’s the explanation for Clinton’s loss, according to her supporters. It’s America’s original sin. Okay. But what do you next? If you’re the narrator of The Sellout, you decide to reinstitute segregation in your LA neighborhood as an attempt to bring people up. And you keep a slave, one that has forced himself into your service. That the nation is outraged by these efforts is not surprising, as “The Sellout” is brought before the Supreme Court in a tour de force of comic writing. It’s a searing novel that deserves the mother of all trigger warnings but one that contains the tiniest threads of hope for the American project.

Catch-22

What do you do if caught in a world that doesn’t make sense? Thousands of bureaucrats in DC are about to find out, being whiplashed from the soft socialism of Obama to the incoherent populism of Trump. In this WWII novel, Yossiarian finds himself in a system that doesn’t make sense. He’s a bombardier and has to fly dangerous missions. If you’re crazy, you don’t have to fly missions. But being crazy is a rational response to flying missions. Therefore, you’re not crazy and have to keep flying. Catch-22 is a hell of a catch. This novel by Joseph Heller illustrates an absurd system, one instantly recognizable to any federal government employee.

One Hundred Years of Solitude

American politics are tumultuous. But not as tumultuous as Macondo, the fictional world created by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in his masterpiece One Hundred Years of Solitude. The doomed Buendia family suffers war, revolution, murder, magic, dueling, insanity, incest, massacre and a hurricane in this sprawling human comedy. It’s seven generations of suffering, as history repeats itself, going from hope to tragedy. A simple election doesn’t seem so bad by comparison. At least, you’re not being lined up in front of a firing squad, dreaming of ice. Lose yourself in this thick book.

Reading can provide consolation to those suffering trauma. Or at least distraction. Forget the news. Put down the iPhone. Pick up a novel instead. These five books will help you survive the Age of Trump.

Three Ways to Find an Agent

You’re the next J.K. Rowling, slaving away in obscurity somewhere. You’ve written a book that will change the world. How do you find an agent to get your masterpiece published?

At the recent DC Author Festival, Cynthia Kane from Capital Talent Agency, Bridget Matzie from Zachary Shuster Harmsworth and Dara Kaye from Ross Yoon spoke on an “Ask an Agent” panel about how aspiring authors can find literary representation. Before a packed house in the basement of the MLK Library in Washington, DC, they explained what they’re looking for and how writers can break in to the publishing world.

How do you find an agent? Here are their recommendations:

Get a Referral

The best way to find an agent is to be referred by an existing client, particularly when it comes to nonfiction. Dara Kaye at Roos Yoon said that most of their new clients come from referrals. Good authors know other good authors. Someone referred to the agency gets their query letter looked at more closely than someone unknown to the agency. Other query letters go into the slush pile, to be reviewed by interns and junior agents. If you know someone, use that connection.

Build a Platform

What is a platform? It’s a term that’s used a lot in marketing. In short, it’s a built-in audience of people who are excited to read your work. It could be an avid social media following or an audience you’ve built by being the expert in a field. You can create a platform by publishing elsewhere. For nonfiction authors, this means getting articles published in newspapers and magazines. Fiction writers should also publish, even if it’s only on their own blog.

Find a Junior Agent

If you’re interested in being represented by the Daniel Smith Agency, don’t write to Daniel Smith. He’s the head of the agency and is busy working with existing clients. Instead, send your query letter to someone further down the org chart. Agency web sites often have biographies of their staff. Look for a junior agent, one new to the agency with few clients. Read their biography, discover what they’re interested in and write a query letter directed at them. Writer’s Digest also has a great list of new agents. New agents need great clients. Be one of them.

Bridget Matzie from Zachary Shuster Harmsworth summed up “Ask an Agent” with a helpful bit of advice: the publishing business is a business. While authors and agents may romanticize books, titles need to sell. If they don’t, then she doesn’t have a job. While you may be creating art, the publishing world is going to look at your book as another widget to market. Your job is to write books – the agent’s job is to sell them.

Waynesville is the Next Asheville

crossing Main Street in Waynesville — Main Street in Waynesville, NC

The world has discovered Asheville, anointing it the next Portland or Austin.

It’s easy to see why. This beautiful city ringed by mountains is surrounded by natural beauty and filled with breweries and a vibrant local food scene.

Plus, it’s artsy, with dreadlocked kids playing drums downtown, a great indie bookstore and a literary history that includes Thomas Wolfe and F. Scott Fitzgerald. And it possesses an easy Southern charm, where you can tube down the French Broad River with several hundred friends while enjoying a cold beer.

I’ve been visiting the area for twenty years, ever since friends of mine moved from Florida to the mountains. (If you live in Florida, you retire to western NC for something different.) I’ve seen Asheville develop from a sleepy downtown lined with empty art deco buildings to a booming mountain city with a hotel rates that rival New York.

Now that city has been discovered, and overwhelmed, what’s the “next Asheville.”

To find that, go thirty minutes west. Up and over the mountains and into a valley framed by peaks. It’s Waynesville, NC.

The county seat, it’s a busy little town with a real Main Street lined with art galleries, restaurants and an old-timey Mast General Store. It’s the kind of place that you might run into your neighbors or the publisher of the local paper.

Unbelievably, the once-sleepy burg now has two indie coffee shops. Panacea in the delightfully-named Frog Level neighborhood (on the banks of the Pigeon River) and Orchard Coffee just off Main Street.

This part of the country used to be dry. Now it’s thoroughly wet and soaked in breweries. Best known is Boojum, which is named after the local Bigfoot. Down on Frog Level, you will find Frog Level Brewing. And a great place to sample beers from around Western NC (and get some good chicken wings) is Mad Anthony’s Taproom.

outside Panacea Coffee in Waynesville — Frog Level in Waynesville, NC

Waynesville is a great hub to explore the Smoky Mountains. The Blue Ridge Parkway is located just outside of town, offering opportunities to hike and take in grand vistas.

If you like the squiggly bits on the map, then Western NC is for you. My favorite drive is to take NC-276 up into Pisgah National Forest, a lovely winding road that passes Looking Glass Falls and other waterfalls. On the way back, I like NC-215, which is another serpentine route. Fun if you’re driving; less so if you’re a passenger.

The downside of being the next Asheville is growth and traffic. Publix and Chik-fil-A arrived recently, drawing crowds from around the region. During the summer and fall, Waynesville strains under the weight of visitors. Even during non-peak times, it can be tough to get a table at Boojum.

But if you’re looking for the next Asheville, you need to go just a little west. Thirty minutes outside the city, and over the mountains. Waynesville. A little colder, a little foggier, a little higher up. Not quite Asheville and no longer undiscovered, Waynesville waits for its moment.

Photo Gallery: Mayor Bowser Signs Bill Helping Local Cyclists

Photos from the Washington Area Bicyclists Association (WABA) happy hour at Mission, where Mayor Muriel Bowser signed the Motor Vehicle Collision Recovery Act of 2016. This new law makes it easier for cyclists and pedestrians to sue motorists who hit them.

I happened to be standing next to the Mayor as she waited to be introduced. She was amazed at the turnout – all the local networks were there, as well as DC Councilmembers Cheh, Grosso and Silverman.

And no wonder – biking has never been bigger in DC. With protected bike lanes and bike sharing, more people than ever are taking to two wheels. The Mayor remarked that getting more people biking will help reduce gridlock. And it’s faster than driving, in many cases. Bowser’s Chief of Staff got from City Hall to Mission on his bike faster than she did in her motorcade.

It was fun to see so many friends from WABA, an organization that I’m proud to support. All the photos came from my new Canon G9X, a handy point and shoot. With this little camera, I was able to drink beer, eat guacamole and take pictures all at the same time!

Mayor Bowser in black and white — Mayor Bowser mingles with WABA members

Coffeeneuring #1: There Ought to be an App

Washington, DC, has an endless appetite for coffee. While there are tons of coffee shops downtown, it’s not always easy to get a seat in one. And the more photogenic the shop, the more crowded it is. For if there’s one thing that millennials like more than coffee, it’s pictures of themselves drinking coffee.

Case in point: La Colombe. Super-cute shop with great coffee. However, on the weekends, all the chairs and tables are taken by young people taking selfies with soy lattes. Shakes first at cloud! If there’s one thing I can’t stand is getting a cappuccino and then finding every table taken by chatty youths. I prefer to drink my coffee in silence, possibly with a book.

Fortunately, this year’s Coffeeneuring Challenge (where you bike to seven coffee shops over seven weeks) includes an important rule change – weekday rides are now allowed! Coffeeneuring is no longer just a weekend activity but can occur on any day of the week.

So, on an overcast Friday afternoon, I took advantage of the new proviso to visit La Colombe in Chinatown. There are three La Colombes in DC but I guessed the Eye Street venue would be the least crowded. Two miles later, I was enjoying a simple mug of coffee, able to read in peace while sipping a dark roast. And when I came out, the sun had emerged for the first time in days. It’s a coffeeneuring miracle!

This trip got me wondering: I used the Spotcycle app before I left home to make sure that the neighborhood Capital Bikeshare station had bikes. Wouldn’t it be great if there was something similar for coffee shops? There should be an app that tells me which coffee shops have available seating. Sensors could be attached to chairs and the data could be reported real-time, like bikeshare does. I’m sure some nerds could figure it out, fueled by enough coffee.

Like Bikes and Coffee? Join the Coffeeneuring Challenge!

Coffeeneuring has returned! For those not familiar with this bike activity, it’s a challenge to ride your bike to seven different coffee shops over seven weeks. The Coffeeneuring Challenge runs from October 7 – November 10.

Coffeeneuring is something that I look forward to every year. As a lover of bikes and coffee, my motto is: Always Be Coffeeneuring. It’s a caffeinated, two-wheel lifestyle for me, something that I did years before I even knew there was such as thing as coffeeneuring.

Bikes and coffee are perfect together, especially when the weather is cool. What else are you going to do on a Sunday? Watch the Redskins lose? Better to hop on your bike and go explore someplace new. Listen to the leaves crunch under your wheels. Catch up with a friend. Sip cappuccino outside on a chilly October afternoon.

You won’t be alone. Coffeeneuring is a worldwide activity, with people taking part in this challenge across the United States, Europe and other parts of the globe.

And you’ll be doing it for more than yourself. More bikes means safer biking for all. By taking a coffee ride, you’re making a statement and encouraging others to hit the roads or trails on their bikes.

Banish those fall blues away with caffeine and exercise. Join the Coffeeneuring Challenge!

Vice-Presidential Debate: Both Parties Can Agree Upon Bike Trails

High Bridge is more than 2,400 feet long and 125 feet above the Appomattox River.

Bikes mean business, drawing visitors to lesser-known regions that they otherwise might speed by on the interstate.

Prior to tonight’s Vice Presidential debate, who had heard of Farmville, VA? It’s a town hours from anywhere. Located on the path of Lee’s retreat from Richmond, it might be of interest to Civil War buffs but most people would find no reason to visit this sleepy burg.

Unless you bike. Then you’ve heard of Farmville, for it is located on the beautiful High Bridge Trail, an old rail line that stretches more than 30 miles through the rolling Virginia countryside and crosses the Appomattox River on the aptly-named High Bridge, a historic landmark.

The prospect of this vista lured me from Washington, DC. I spent a couple hours biking the trail one rainy morning. I even stopped in the town of Farmville for a bite to eat.

High Bridge Trail State Park runs right through the middle of Farmville, VA.

Bike trails like High Bridge are an inexpensive way to bring tourist dollars to your region. In addition to the health benefits, bike trails are also an amenity that keeps people in the area.

If you’re a Democrat, you can support bike trails for environmental reasons. Republicans can support them for the economic benefits.

Will the VP candidates be asked about nearby High Bridge Trail at tonight’s debate? Doubtful. Which is unfortunate, because the spread of bike trails is something that both parties can agree upon.

East Building of the National Gallery of Art Reopens

NGA, East Building After three years of renovation, the East Building of the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC, reopened on September 30th. I grabbed my new Canon G9x to check out the opening.

The art museum is in two buildings – the West, which is home to Monet masterworks and more, while the East is known for its Calder mobiles and other bits of puzzling modern art.

The West Building has better art. It’s an art history course spanning centuries of Western tradition.

But the East Building has always been way more interesting visually. It’s a dream for photographers, with a soaring interior bathed in natural light and terraces that remind one of Romeo and Juliet. And is home to that NGA wall, a favorite among Instagrammers.

Navigating the East Building is still a puzzling exercise. The renovation added new stairs and elevators, trying to form a cohesive whole out of what is essentially different platforms under one roof. Expect to get lost if you visit.

Calder mobile at NGA The highlight of the renovation is the Roof Terrace, an outdoor sculpture garden overlooking Pennsylvania Avenue. Lean over the edge and you can see the Capitol. But most people will be drawn toward Hahn/Cock by Katharina Fritsch, on view from July 2016 as a long-term loan from Glenstone Museum in Potomac, MD.

This majestic blue rooster is destined to appear in thousands of Instagram selfies. Gallery visitors no longer just want to look at art (like they would in the West Building); instead, they want to create art. With themselves in it. They want to capture and share the experience of visiting the National Gallery of Art.

Hahn/Cock is more than just a work of art – it’s a marketing tool for the National Gallery of Art, something that can be digitally reproduced and shared with audiences well beyond any that the museum could reach. The chance of an Iowa teen reading an NGA brochure is nil; but she will look at her friend’s Instagram photo of the iconic blue rooster and ask, “Where’s that?” Thus, a new generation of art connoisseurs is born.

Visit the roof. Take a selfie with the blue chicken. Not just because it’s fun, but because you might just inspire a future artist.

Writing the Dreaded Query Letter

Marked-up query letter for DRONE CITY. — Marked-up query letter for The Swamp.

Can you get a literary agent through a query letter? That was the question I had before attending “Writing the Dreaded Query Letter” at the Writer’s Center in Bethesda. Alan Orloff answered the question in the affirmative. Not only has he obtained representation solely by an email query, he showed us how in this Saturday afternoon class.

The first point he made was perhaps the most important – a query letter is a business letter. It’s not a philosophical treatise. It’s a short, concise email communication that’s designed to get an agent to read your writing sample. That’s it.

Like a good business letter, a query letter has four parts:

Salutation: Address a particular agent by name. You can find agents online through resources such as AgentQuery.

Hook/Description: The hook is a catchy sentence or two designed to catch a reader’s interest. For example, “It’s Jaws in space.” Follow that up with a paragraph describing the plot of the book – what happens and to whom.

Biography: Mention your writing credits and any relevant experience you have.

Close: Thank them for their time and include the first five pages from your manuscript. No need to ask for representation – that’s why you’re writing them.

It was a workshop so I also received feedback on the query letter for my upcoming novel The Swamp, from the class and from Orloff (see above). He mentioned that he spends weeks polishing his queries. You only have one chance to impress an agent so you have to make sure that your letter is perfect.

The small class closed with participants exchanging email addresses and Orloff sharing copies of his book, Diamonds for the Dead.

I took this class because I’m working on another novel – The Swamp. In this satire, a drone lands on the White House lawn, setting in motion a chain of events that leads to the end of the nation as we know it.

With my previous books Murder in Ocean Hall and Murder on U Street, I skipped over the “find an agent” step and self-published, thinking the publishing business was based upon referrals. Orloff showed that it was possible to find an agent through a professionally written query letter.