Joe Flood

Tag: writing

  • Conflict is Content: The MAGA Livestreamer Business Model

    May Day rally in DC
    May Day rally in DC

    May 3, 2025

    MAGA is a grift all the way down. At the top, you have crypto scams, stock manipulation and influence peddling. It’s not a moment, it’s a movement which is all about looting the country before it all comes to a crashing end.

    For the suckers at the bottom, there’s not a lot of ways to earn wealth. Being shut out of the higher-level conspiracies, they have to generate cash by taking advantage of the people beneath them. A classic pyramid scheme.

    One of the few opportunities to make money is to be a YouTube Livestreamer.

    It seems so easy. Anyone with an iPhone can do it, right? Trigger the libs for fun and profit, as you livestream events on YouTube. Garner enough subscribers and YouTube will share revenue with you or, even better, solicit donations directly from your audience through Superchats and other online tools.

    Howard Lutnick thinks that Americans want to screw in tiny screws, like Chinese factory workers. But we don’t want those jobs. Everyone wants to be Media, as predicted in Super Sad True Love Story, a novel that I think about often because it captures our decline better than any dry article in the Economist.

    The problem is that the MAGA livestreamer market is saturated with chuds who also think this is an easy way to riches. It’s one of those markets, like much of American capitalism, where all the benefits accrue to a tiny portion at the top while 99% make little or nothing.

    I’ve watched it happen in DC, as livestreamers infested my town in the wake of the trucker convoy, the 1776 Restoration Movement and the jail side vigil known as Freedom Corner. These were tiny MAGA groups where nearly every participant was also a livestreamer, providing coverage of what little happened as donations rolled in from elderly shut-ins watching at home.

    It was a good grift, with a constant sense of outrage that fueled the granny squad to open their purses and send those Social Security dollars to the chuds of Freedom Corner.

    Trump pardoning the J6 rioters was the worst thing that could’ve ever happened to them.

    With the scam over, most went home. Some remained in the area and have sought to recapture the golden age of the grift by triggering the libs for fun and profit. It’s the MAGA Livestreamer Business Model.

    One of them, whom we’ll call Big Dummy, showed up late (chuds are never on time) to the May Day demonstration at Freedom Plaza. As people packed up and started to leave, Dummy tried to provoke them with questions like, “Why don’t you love yer President Donald Trump?”

    The idea was to get people mad. Or, even better, to attack him.

    A month earlier, at another protest, he got under the skin of folks to the point that one of them sprayed him with blue spray paint.

    The guy who assaulted him was arrested. Dummy caught it all on camera, leading to appearances on several right-wing podcasts and a few moments of viral fame. More views and more exposure, which meant donations from an audience desperate to show that the left was violent, too.

    Conflict is content. If you want views and donations, you want to provoke a situation where you’re the victim.

    Most of the people at the May Day protest wisely ignored this limping man with a long beard and MAGA hat asking dumb questions.

    A few tried to block his camera by holding up signs. But that is giving him content; don’t do that.

    One man sang Woody Guthrie to him, edging ever closer to Dummy. It really freaked him out. The young man sang:

    I’m gonna tell you fascists
    You may be surprised
    The people in this world
    Are getting organized
    You’re bound to lose
    You fascists bound to lose

    This turned the tables on Dummy, by using his platform for an antifascist message that drove his right-wing audience nuts.

    But it’s best to just ignore them. Any engagement is content, which means more views for them.

    So, if you’re at a protest, and you’re approached by a character with an iPhone on a gimbal with some provocative questions, just ignore them. Don’t take the bait. Don’t give them what they want, which is conflict, viral moments that they can clip and share to drive donations.

    Focus on your message. What you’re there for. As Winston Churchill said, “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” 

    Starve the beast. Wreck the MAGA Livestreamer Business Model.

  • Can there be a Kramerbooks without Dupont Circle?

    Kramerbooks closed at eight on a Sunday night//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

    Kramerbooks may leave Dupont Circle.

    In this year of loss, this news struck me hard. Kramerbooks is urban life. As a college freshman, the experience of visiting the store defined the city for me.

    The RA in my dorm at American University had led a bunch of us on a tour of the monuments. On the way back, we got off at the Dupont Circle Metro. As I rose out of the earth on the escalator, I was immediately enchanted by this bohemian neighborhood of art galleries, record shops and bookstores.

    Kramerbooks defined cool. More than just a bookstore, it was open late, served brunch and you could even get a drink there.

    It was the height of urban sophistication. When I moved back to DC after a few years in Florida, I made sure to be within walking distance of Kramers.

    On the weekends, I’d amble around the city and stop off at the bookstore. There, I’d browse through the new books and imagine myself as an author.

    Joe Floods reads Victory Party at Kramerbooks. Photo courtesy of Kramerbooks.
    Joe Flood reads Victory Party at Kramerbooks. Photo courtesy of Kramerbooks.

    Years later, my dreams came true. My short story, Victory Party, won the City Paper Fiction Competition. I did a reading at Kramerbooks. Staff pushed back the stacks, chairs were set up and there I was in the window of Kramers, sharing my creation with an audience.

    And perhaps inspiring another writer, like I once was by the Kramerbooks experience.

    Location, Location, Location

    DC is all about real estate – Kramers is no exception. Behind the fantasy of a clean and well-lit place for literature is the brutal reality of dollars and cents. Dealing with three landlords, as Kramers does, is complicated.

    And Dupont Circle is no longer fashionable; it has become old and tired. The record stores and dive bars that were its peers are long since gone. Storefronts are empty and tents for the homeless have sprung up on the sidewalks.

    All the energy of the city has gone east. Why stay in a cramped building on Connecticut Avenue when you could move to a larger space in a shiny new neighborhood like H St or Yards Park?

    Kramerbooks is Dupont Circle and Dupont Circle is Kramerbooks. Their brands are married in a bohemian embrace. It’s hard to imagine Kramers anywhere else.

    But cities change. That’s what makes them so interesting.

    The bookstore I fell in love with as college freshman. The piles of novels I dreamily browsed there on Sunday afternoons. The experience of reading Victory Party before a crowd.

    If the Coronavirus crisis has taught us anything, it’s to cherish those precious and unrecoverable moments. Kramers may change but the experiences it created will endure.

  • City Paper 2020 Fiction Contest Reading at Eaton DC

    City Paper 2020 Fiction Contest Winners
    (l to r) City Paper 2020 Fiction Contest Winners Carmen Munir Russell-Sluchansky, Rhonda Green-Smith, Joe Flood

    //embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

    I had a chance to read my short story, Apartment 101, at a reading arranged by the Washington City Paper for its 2020 Fiction Contest winners.

    I read first, sharing my fiction before an audience at the arts-friendly Eaton DC hotel and online via Facebook Live.

    Standing in front of the crowd with my short story in hand, I read slowly, stressing the funny lines and looking up at the audience occasionally. A reading needs to have a bit of performance to it.

    This wasn’t my first reading. I won the City Paper contest in 2017 for my short story Victory Party and read at Kramerbooks, which was the experience of a lifetime.

    I was glad to read first because then I could sit back and enjoy the work of the other winning writers from the Fiction Issue.

    Carmen Munir Russell-Sluchansky shared his story about an epic paintball war in DC. It’s funny, a rarity in these grim times in the nation’s capital. A journalist, he wrote it the night before the contest submission deadline.

    Rhonda Green-Smith read her story of a child who learns everything she needs to know about life one morning in 1986. Her voice is DC authentic, coming from the real city beyond the monuments. This story is part of a collection that she’s working on.

    Then we did a Q&A with the audience, including being asked for writing advice. I said: write what you know. Apartment 101 is based upon an apartment I lived in during the 90s. The characters and the events were all drawn from my experiences.

    Thanks to City Paper for setting this up! Fiction provides a more satisfying experience than skimming a tweet. I hope that I inspired other people in the room to pick up the pen and start writing.

  • Eight Life Lessons Learned, 2010 – 2019

    Andrew Jackson statue at sunset//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

    The world has been turned upside down since 2010. This crazy decade has taught me eight invaluable life lessons.

    1. If you don’t do politics, politics is going to do you.
    2. Your most interesting times will be the worst.
    3. You can bike in any kind of weather. Snow, rain, polar vortex. Doesn’t matter. Humans are designed for this.
    4. Read that book. Reading is the best use of your leisure time.
    5. Write that book! Creating art has its own rewards.
    6. Don’t try to monetize your hobby.
    7. If you’re healthy, appreciate that. If not, endure.
    8. We’re not here forever. Go to that party, hug that friend, take that cheesy sunset photo.

  • WordPressDC: Create a Home Page That Gets You Clients

    Headline with image//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

    Before social media and SEO, the home page was all about words.

    Content, we called it, and content was king.

    The home page with the best words won.

    At least they did for a few brief years in the 90s, before keyword stuffing, monetization strategies, content management systems, personalization, cookies, bots, influencers, viral videos, tweet storms and other forms of digital manipulation embraced by late-stage capitalism.

    Every once in a while, however, I’m reminded that web sites are about words. Without them, your web site is an empty shell.

    Create a Home Page That Gets You Clients

    Marylyn King presented on the power of words at the October WordPress DC Meetup on creating a home page that gets you clients.

    She made the point that effective web sites clearly spell out their offer. Ask for what you want!

    It’s a novel concept that’s been lost as so many home pages are soaked in indecipherable jargon. If you’re in the IT field, it’s buzzwords about the cloud. Government agencies decorate their pages with undefined acronyms. Nonprofits do everything but describe what they do.

    No one wants to say, “I sell widgets.” Instead, they claim, “We’re a next generation industrial enterprise bringing lifestyle solutions embraced by the marketplace.”

    But if you want your customer to buy something or donate money or sign-up for the newsletter, ask them! Make it clear, direct and bold.

    Home Page Elements

    Marylyn explained how to write the copy for an effective home page:

    • Problem
    • Solution
    • Authority
    • Call to Action

    You describe the problem – I want toast.

    You give the solution – here is a toaster.

    You mention your authority – 99% of Amazon shoppers gave this toaster five stars.

    And then the call to action: buy the toaster!

    The silly examples are mine but your home page does not need to be complicated and should not be complicated. You’re dealing with a fickle consumer who will click away from your site within seconds.

    So, tell them what you offer immediately. Don’t make them figure it out. Don’t make them think.

    Content management systems may change. Web design fads differ from year to year.

    But the power of words is a constant. Invest in them to deliver returns.

  • Published! Five Tips for a Better Weather Photo

    cyclist on P St//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

    I have a new article in The Washington Post – Five Tips for a Better Weather Photo!

    In this listicle for the Capital Weather Gang, I share my tips for creating a good weather photo. It’s about composition, knowing your camera, including people, getting out of the car and telling a weather story.

    The photo editor included lots of bike photos – that’s what I’m known for as a photographer. A bike is also how I get around the city and am able to capture so much interesting imagery.

    I’m a huge Capital Weather Gang fan. It’s the best part of the paper, IMHO. I was glad to share my knowledge with their readers.

  • Where Do Book Ideas Come From? The Story of The Swamp

    Perfect headline/photo from the Express #snowquester

    Where do book ideas come from?

    In my novel The Swamp, a drone crashes into the White House, changing the course of history forever. Where did that come from? A bad weather forecast.

    The Triggering Incident

    On this day in 2013, Washington was supposed to get an epic snow storm. There was a run on milk and toilet paper. The federal government shut down. The local TV channels suspended programs and went to wall-to-wall coverage. Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel even flew in to witness the snowy carnage.

    And it rained. I watched it all day, waiting for it to turn to snow, but the precipitation remained persistently non-frozen. It was the city that cried snow, to quote the Washington Post Express.

    Around 4 PM, I gave up and went to happy hour, walking deserted downtown streets to be the only customer at a bar. The weatherman on TV said that there was a layer of hot air over the city; it was snowing in the suburbs.

    Layer of hot air…. If you’re a writer, this is one of those amusing details that you file away.

    Collecting Information

    Ironically, I had recently started working in communications at the National Weather Service. A few months later, I had the chance to visit the Weather Forecast Office in Sterling, the office that had issued the bum forecast.

    I didn’t ask them about that. Instead, I was shown how they used computer models and data displays to customize local forecasts. I was also shown a weather balloon, which carried a radiosonde designed to transmit atmospheric pressure, temperature, humidity and wind speed data.

    “The Secret Service visited after we had balloon end up on the White House lawn,” a meteorologist told me. Another interesting detail, filed away.

    At the same time, I was annoyed by the ever-increasing level of security theater in DC. Public spaces and parks have been stolen by the Secret Service and other agencies in the name of security. The perimeter around the White House expands ever outward, seizing Lafayette Park to the north and the Ellipse to the south, grand public spaces that are routinely closed off. This is done despite the Secret Service’s failure to prevent fence jumpers and other miscreants.

    Then, in 2015, a man crashed a drone into the White House in what was described as a drunken lark. It made a mockery of security theater. How can you keep the President safe in the age of the drone? Another interesting detail.

    If you’re a writer, you constantly collect information – even if you don’t realize it, filing away interesting stories and amusing incidents for future use.

    Write What You Know

    I had a recently finished writing a mystery novel, Murder on U Street. It’s a dark comedy in which I kill off hipsters.

    For my next book, I wanted to write a satire with a political edge, like Scoop by Evelyn Waugh.

    What could I write about? The image of the drone disappearing into the night stuck with me. It would be a great way to open a book.

    Write what you know. What did I know? The National Weather Service had taught me about weather forecasting and government bureaucracy. I knew security theater, for I had seen places I loved locked away by fences. And I had heard enough anti-Washington sentiment to understand that a good chunk of this country wanted this city to disappear.

    So, where do book ideas come from? Putting all of these thoughts together, I had my idea for The Swamp:

    A meteorologist, humiliated by a bum forecast, puts a drone into the layer of hot air over DC to measure its strength. It crashes into the White House, triggering a security scare. The nation is outraged. How can we keep the President safe from drones? By moving him, and the rest of government, out of Washington.

    Now, I just had to write it.

  • The Swamp: Early Reviews of My Book

    Meeting Mandi, one of my readers in Orlando, Florida.
    Meeting Mandi, one of my readers in Orlando, Florida.

    One of the most gratifying things about being an author is hearing that people enjoyed your book.

    And readers have enjoyed The Swamp!

    This is the fourth of my books and is a satire of the Obama years in Washington, DC.

    In the novel, a runaway drone crashes into the White House. After the security scare, an anxious nation asks: what can we do to keep the President safe?

    A washed-up Fox journalist seizes upon a crackpot scheme to move Washington out of Washington. The idea gains traction and no one – not the cynical Speaker of the House nor the weary President – can stop it.

    Here are some early reviews of The Swamp.

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

    Even better than experiencing good reviews is meeting readers, like Mandi (above) in Florida! Her extended family has been some of my biggest supporters. Her aunt Rachel Torda designed the cover of my novel.

    Check out the hilarious world of The Swamp, available in print and Kindle editions on Amazon.

  • Winter: A Time of Deep Crankiness

    Rosslyn at sunset

    I unleashed a volley of obscenities at the two (two!) cars parked in the middle of the bike lane. After a minor fender-bender, these two drivers decided the best course of action was to move their cars into the protected bike lane of 15th, thus forcing people on bikes (me!) into traffic.

    I cursed; they cursed back. At the next light, a woman on a bike pulled up next to me. “That wasn’t helpful,” she said.

    “But,” I started, thinking of all the different ways the bike lane is blocked daily by cars, construction and utility companies determined to dig up every bit of asphalt in this city. However, I’ll admit when I’m wrong and I was. Yelling at them did not help matters nor did it make me feel better. It just left me with a hangover of rage.

    It’s a tough time of year. I dread these days when the sun sinks lower in the sky until it just barely seems to get above the horizon. You go to work under gray skies and leave when it’s black.

    A time of deep crankiness, when schedules are packed with commitments while you’re pressed with a tyrannical demand to appear jolly. Humans, however, are cyclical animals and this is the low end of the year, a sputtering conclusion to a particularly bad one.

    Thank god I can run. On Monday, after wrestling with “Run? Don’t run?” I plodded toward Georgetown as the sun set. Running along the waterfront it occurred to me that perhaps the way to conquer winter was to embrace the darkness. Cold temps bring a stillness to the city, banishing the fair-weather tourists. I ran alone by the dark Potomac. Light lingered in the west, across the river.

    I stopped to capture the moment. Pretty photo but I’m never going to love winter. Move faster, earth, and spin these dark days away until we reach spring.

  • The Swamp – Get This Funny Book About Washington

    The Swamp - coverMy new novel, THE SWAMP, begins with a bad weather forecast. A meteorologist predicts snow for the nation’s capital. But snow turns to rain over the city, for it is protected by a layer of hot air in this funny book about Washington, DC.

    How much hot air is over the city? To determine this, the meteorologist sets a drone aloft over the skies of DC, triggering a comic chain of events leading to the end of the country as we know it. Welcome to THE SWAMP.

    DC always seems to be on the rain-snow line and with another questionable forecast in the air, I decided this weekend was the perfect time to launch THE SWAMP. This dark satire of Washington, DC is now available in print and Kindle on Amazon.

    A five-star review described the book as a “dystopian thriller that will have you wondering..what if? or if only?”

    THE SWAMP is set in a mercifully Trump-free era. It’s an alternate history of DC, in which sleazy TV correspondents, mommy bloggers and jaded politicos struggle to control a world spinning away from them. If you like dark comedies filled with complex characters and ironic plot twists, then you’ll love THE SWAMP.